Nginx The Installation, Chapter 1.01.01

Nginx Is Speed Racers’ Brother?!

…. Did I mention in a previous post that I moved from Apache to Nginx? Highly recommend, it was a pain, but I think the site is quite a bit faster. Have you ever configured Nginx? Don’t….trick someone else to do it. At least think it out better than I did. I had a Pikachu face when I remembered how permalinks are saved.

For real, avoid it, I’m sure there is like a Bitnami image or just…start a hosting account with Big Scoots or some other hosting company that uses Nginx, and be like “hey… I need a copy of the virtual hosting file for my site…for uh….reasons.” You want Gzip compression? Get ready to type every fucking file extension you can think of. “Jamison?! What about SSL?” Okay, that part is easy, actually…once you got the semblance of a ‘yourwebsite.conf’ in sites-enabled, you can just run Certbot, and it will be like “I gotcha bro! Here is an SSL, and the paths of it written in your conf, you want me to redirect traffic? Fuck yeah I will! That’s my Shit bruh!” which is very sweet of it.

 Little girl crying

“But Jamison, Does Nginx Server PHP Files Like Apache?”

Fuck no it doesn’t! It does some reverse proxy shit. There are 3 things that I know confuse me, Spacetime, olives, and how I got Nginx working at an acceptable level.

…and dancing.

Was It Worth It?

Fuck yes it was. I doubt I even have it configured correctly, and it’s faster, and the amount of concurrent connections I can have?! I can just make a script to keep opening Chromium tabs until I run out of memory and my server will probably still be snoozing. Not only that, but I can rate limit this fucking bots, it’s just too much work for me to do, so… I am just banking they can’t read and think I hardened the security. 😉

Backups made. I’m not proofreading, but I think it is funny that Yoast thinks this is readable… I, too, have low standards.

Another perfect post Morty, now we just need links :/


[wpforms id=”12401″]

You sir are either the worst or best Googler I have ever seen. Whoever that was, you’re a mod now on my twitch when I go to the big screen.

I Did An Actual Quick Design For The 404 Page

I was playing a new game, Outer Wilds. Again something I should write about in the future. I almost instantly jumped into a geyser and died. So if you see the 404 page, know that it was semi inspired by that game and death screen. Okay, Yoast is back to saying I’m hard to read. Broken plugin, don’t update until they patch it.

Just kidding and do not follow me for technical advice on this blog. You are just going to have to use your best judgement. I will start using /s, so you know when I am being serious. /s

But for real, should I break my server with Redis? No right, like I have 10 visitors and most of those are me on incognito mode on a VPN…. We will see.

Time is probably better spent breaking pages off Elementor and giving them separate templates with their own CSS and JavaScript. Instead of just kinda of global styling everything for convenience, but I mean, fair dinkum mate, it’s right fucking there.

Look At That!

Snippet of my analytics.

I discovered a country boi! We are going to be famous, quick sign the guest book to prove you were here! Memo to self, bring back Geocities guest books. Fun fact, you originally picked like your location, that is why it was called geo.

More Server Non Nginx Performance Enhancement

I almost did Redis, but it was complicated, and I do not think the traffic I get even likes me. 😐 . I did however update my MySQL from 5.7 to 8. Do I notice a performance difference? No, I don’t think I really do, but a couple of times on Google Speed Test for mobile I was getting a decrease initial server response time and I have not got that since. Although it has been 15 minutes so hard to say? It’s probably better though.

This is my Desktop Google Page Speed Insight test
This is my Desktop Google Page Speed Insight test
This is my mobile Google Page Speed Insight test
This is my mobile Google Page Speed Insight test

Are they perfect? No, this is a very simple page, no ads, it could honestly be completely static and even faster since I am not doing anything heavy here. I probably just made it worse with the images. There is a point here though… I think… I pay about $22.00 a month in hosting on AWS. That is pretty cheap for how well this server runs, you will notice the issues GPSI has been all about my coding, it loves my server and I have enough hard drive and memory to probably put way more websites, although that is going to depend on a lot of traffic. Oh, and I use no paid plugins, hosting is the only expense.



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